There’s a narrow margin between pushing yourself enough and pushing too hard, it appears that I have yet to find this limit as I am once again dealing with injury.
It’s less than 6 weeks to go until marathon day, and after a stellar bout of injury free training for the last 4 months, I now find myself unable to run due to a shin/calf injury which has started to become more than just a niggle.
It’s my fault, I’ve run a lot of mileage in shoes I should have changed weeks ago, and I’ve also run for the last 3 weeks on the niggle in the hope it would go away. I’ve also done very little stretching/rolling/yoga since I started my running streak in December. Never learn.
I’m taking the “injury” as a sign that I need to slow down and ease back on my training, like a sign to respect my body more. For the last month or so I’ve felt burnt out, completely exhausted and yet I still feel guilty for missing runs, feel antsy sitting still, doing nothing, I don’t find comfort in just “being”.
I struggle with being unable to run, early last week I could just feel this dark cloud drawing over as I fell into a right slump, I was absolutely awful to be around, thankfully that only lasted a few days and I managed to snap out of it and focus on other things.
I feel frustrated with myself that I’ve managed to end up here again after 2 bad injuries last year. I feel like there is this giant disconnect between my body and mind. Am I unable to read the signs or simply too stubborn to face them? I guess I’ve been running myself into the ground, with week after week of mega mileage plus other stuff, plus working, plus studying and trying to do other normal people things! I’ve definitely been ignoring the signs that reflect other stuff that’s going on-my skin’s been a nightmare which I notice because I have been lucky and always had good skin, my digestion is horrible, my hormones are completely out of whack probably because my adrenal glands are absolutely battered. I need to reign myself in, stop saying yes to everything, stop pushing myself so hard all the time, be gentler, and kinder to myself, but I find this difficult.
This weekend was supposed to be my first race of the year the Winter Run 10k in London, what should have been a fun run with some beautiful running friends, but I had to pull out because although I could probably have got round it-albeit in pain-there comes a point where I’m only prolonging the injury and actually probably making it worse-hence why I didn’t even try to run last week.
I’m still in a good place for the marathon, I’ve had 4 months of injury free running, run 30+/40+ miles every single week since the beginning of December other than the last two weeks. So the mileage is there, it’s just whether I can recover in time now.
I’ve dug my bike out to mix up my cardio and to do something non weight bearing, and I’ve started doing Laura’s 30 days yoga challenge to encourage myself to stretch on a daily basis, and just be a bit gentler with myself for a while.
Taking time out in the middle of marathon training is not ideal and unfortunately seems to be a regular occurrence for me. I am hoping this is something that will get better sooner rather than later, and while I’m recouping it, I hope my body is getting the rest it clearly needs.